In New York you get cold because the windows have bars
So you can't close them unless your fingers are so
Thin they need fattening up by the witch who lives
In the candy house – she has given up on children
Hansel and Gretel were too clever – and now she wants
Mind-numbed adults who don't have the literary maturity
For fairy tales and instead stick to the pablum found in
Dilbert cartoons, the Wall Street Journal, and the Oprah Club
Their fingers may not be skinny enough but their penises sure are
Just ask ex-girlfriends #23, #24, and #25. Lest you accuse them of
Exaggeration, #27 used a piece of string to measure the circumference
Of the offending organ which she refused entry to saying it had
Been everywhere except on the inside of a rubber and she
Had sworn testimony from the owners of the male and female
Orifices it had romanced. The Witch was not interested in dicks,
Fat or not, for although most cannibal cookbooks report that that part
Of the anatomy is exceptionally delicate of flavor, especially when
Cooked with white wine as the flavoring for a risotto or a choucroute
And the witch loved a good choucroute, it is an unfortunate
Disadvantage of being a witch that a man's thing immediately shrinks
When you set eyes on it, even if it is already dead and packaged as a
Cut of meat in a butcher's shop. The witch therefore ate fingers and toes
And ribs and all the other long and skinny parts of a person and let
Herself imagine she was biting into that most tender part of a man's
Thinking apparatus.