Being manic depressive and not just plain vanilla depressive, I sometimes entertained grandiose fantasies about dying for some really good cause and becoming a famous martyr. I thought a lot about the person who set himself on fire to protest the Vietnam War. I thought about going on a hunger strike to protest the insufficient research that was being put into finding the cure for depression. But I wasn't brave enough for a hunger strike, and I didn't know how to get myself the necessary publicity. It wouldn't do to go on a hunger strike and have no one notice. Plus I figured I'd get hospitalized before I got thin enough to look impressively martyr-like on camera, since I am overweight.